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Atherton resident Joan Lane, a longtime Stanford University supporter and widow of Sunset magazine co-publisher Melvin Lane, died Feb. 19 at Stanford Hospital. She was 97.
Lane earned the unofficial title of “special assistant for sticky problems” at Stanford where she first started volunteering in the early 1960s. Over the years, she advised two deans, three presidents and four university board chairs.
“Mom did not have an ounce of schmooze or pretense in her. She was never interested in others to ‘use’ them. She navigated sticky problems by working alongside people — ensuring people of differing concerns were heard and taken seriously,” said her youngest daughter, Julie Lane‑Gay.
Former Stanford president Gerhard Casper remembered Lane as a model of the university’s values. “Joan was warm, positive, and inspiring, and had an uncanny ability to unravel difficult processes. She was truly the epitome of the Stanford spirit, and we are all the better for having known her,” he said in a press release.
Born in San Francisco and raised in Berkeley, Lane graduated summa cum laude from Smith College, a small liberal arts women’s college in Massachusetts. Her time there helped shape her outlook on life, said her eldest daughter Whitney Lane. “I think when she was in college, she got really inspired seeing what everyone was doing. She saw all of the possibilities of what she can do and how she can make the world a better place,” she said.
At a time when it was uncommon for women to hold professional roles, Lane was often the first woman to join the boards she served on. “For her generation, it was very unusual for women to work,” Whitney Lane said. “When she started working at Stanford, and for Don Kennedy, who was the president of the university at the time, people called me and asked, ‘Is everything okay? Is your dad okay?’ And I told them everything was fine and that my mom just wanted to work.”
Beyond her board development and administrative skills, Lane was known for her empathy and insight. “I don’t know anybody that could read a room better than she could. She didn’t think of it as, ‘What can this situation do for me?’ Mom really cared about people. She looked for people who were having a hard time and thought about how to help them,” her eldest daughter said.
Lane-Gay recalled that her mother was a confidante to many people in positions of leadership, business and nonprofits. “They called late at night for advice and support, cried on her shoulder, were flown out in their corporate jets or drove 15 hours just to talk to her,” she said.
Lane’s impact extended far beyond Stanford. She advised and assisted organizations including the Monterey Bay Aquarium, the League to Save Lake Tahoe (now Keep Tahoe Blue), Mills College and many others. She served on the governing boards of International House at Berkeley, the Four Winds Foundation, the San Francisco Foundation and her alma mater Smith College, as well as numerous Stanford advisory committees and councils.
“I don’t know her secret to being able to do all that. I think that she was just really genuinely interested in others,” Whitney Lane reflected.
Even with her national and university commitments, Lane, who lived in Atherton and Menlo Park, was deeply rooted in the Midpeninsula. “My mom cared so much about the community around her — the grocery store, the library, the parks, the fire department, her neighbors. She loved Menlo Park — Kepler’s, Draeger’s, Sharon Heights,” said Lane‑Gay.
The Almanac published a profile in 1999 titled “Joan Lane: Never a spectator” and said that her schedule could “exhaust most hardy souls.” Lane was 77 at the time.
Lane and her late husband Mel, who died in 2007, were both active philanthropists. Stanford described her giving philosophy simply as “follow the need.”
Whitney Lane said her mother often directed funds toward causes others might overlook. “She would see where the needs were a lot of the time. She would see that there was a need for operating expenses or something a little less glamorous than what somebody who wanted more public recognition would fund,” she said.
Lane supported the local civil rights movement and campaigned for her friend Pete McCloskey, who represented San Mateo County in Congress from 1967 to 1983. She often went door‑to‑door, stuffed envelopes for candidates and school bonds, and recruited her daughters to join in.
Even with her busy life, Lane made time to mentor and teach her children.
“When I was 12 and Julie was 9, she sat us down and taught us how to write a résumé, balance a checkbook and make a budget. We didn’t learn how to do make‑up, we learned how to phone bank — I can only imagine what people thought when I would call in my little, squeaky teenage voice,” Whitney Lane said. “When I was struggling with reading, I remember that my mom really encouraged me. And I really feel like she gave me the love of reading with her constant support — she was a really good mom.”
Lane remained engaged and caring well into her later years. “She was really remarkable in just the way she navigated being old. She had dementia for the last four or five years of her life, and even then, she just was always really interested in other people,” Whitney said. “I’ve been thinking about what I am going to say at her memorial service and it’s really hard to not overuse the words ‘amazing’ or ‘maverick.’”
Lane continued to work at Stanford, though in a reduced capacity, into her 90s. “I sort of joke that, when she had dementia, I finally felt like I could keep up with her,” Whitney added.
A memorial recital will be held Wednesday, April 22, at Stanford Memorial Church from 12:15 to 12:45 p.m., followed by a community celebration at the Menlo Circus Club in Atherton.
