Blog: Real signs that could have been April Fools jokes

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Hopkins Avenue – MAY USE FULL LAN [ Courtesy: G. Stieler ]

You “MAY USE FULL LAN” on Hopkins Avenue

When we talked about the quite expensive Hopkins Ave Traffic Calming Project a while back, I also made some points about this sign. At the time, I assumed that this was either:

A passive aggressive way of saying that people on bicycles won’t get Wi-Fi here
or
A passive aggressive way of saying that people on bicycles won’t get bike lanes here.

Not having WIFI while riding a bicycle is not the worst that can happen, but not putting bike lanes on a street that is mostly red-curbed is unfathomable.

This sign looked like this even before the actual project was started. We have a multi-year project with studies, engineering, and evaluation phases done by Kimly-Horn and city staff since at least 2017. We have multiple rounds of discussions at the Transportation Advisory Committee (TAC), including leading, salaried members of the regional bicycle advocacy group (SVBC). This project received several approval votes from at least 12 council members. Many of these council members live close by. The city manager spent over $6M on this project and misused $1.2M in bicycle funding. And yet in the many years of this project, nobody ever thought about buying an “E” for $1.25 at the Dollar Store or just taking a spray can and painting four lines?

I would do it myself, but that would probably be considered illegal graffiti. But nobody could blame the Transportation Director, the Mayor, or members of TAC for showing just a little initiative. Maybe if they turned it into a photo op with ribbon cutting and baby kissing, they all would come.

Roosevelt Avenue / McGarvey Roundabout [ courtesy: G. Stieler]

Getting dizzy on Roosevelt Avenue

In most of Europe at any Modern Roundabout, any driver can expect the same kind of right-of-way treatment. The drivers entering the circle have to yield to the drivers circling. Of course, that isn’t so simple in the U.S., where there are still plenty of old traffic circles with STOP signs instead of YIELD. It’s confusing to everybody, and it’s even more confusing when the Redwood City staff is confused themselves by calling the new Roosevelt Avenue modern roundabout a ‘New Traffic Circle’ instead.

Has Farm Hill Blvd ever had photo radar? [ Courtesy: G. Stieler ]

Automatic Radar on Farm Hill Boulevard

The best April Fools’ jokes are about things that are totally believable, but then turn out to be fake. Like this sign on the upper section of Farm Hill Blvd. This sign is basically a 20-year-old April Fools’ joke.

So I asked a Generative AI tool to write an April Fools’ joke about a sign like this, and so it did:

On April 1st, a newcomer drives into a small town and sees a sign that says, “Photo Radar Ahead.” He slows down to a crawl, much to the locals’ amusement. The next day, he’s at the local diner, bragging about how he outsmarted the photo radar. The locals exchange glances and smile. Finally, one of them says, “You know it’s April Fools’ Day, right?” The newcomer looks confused. “Yeah, so?” “Well,” the local replies, grinning, “That sign’s been there for years, but the photo radar is just an April Fools’ prank we play on new folks like you!” The whole diner erupts in laughter as the newcomer shakes his head, realizing he’s been had. [Generative AI]

Ouch!

Bike Lanes on El Camino

For many, many years now, the City/County Association of Governments (C/CAG) has been working on something like the Grand Boulevard Initiative – a huge marketing effort. But other than paying consultants and having food parties, nothing ever happened. So imagine everyone’s surprise when this sign suddenly showed up last year on El Camino Real mentioning ‘Bike Lanes Closed Ahead’. My first thought was, “bike lanes – we hardly ever knew you!”

However, since the other AI joke landed hard, I thought of repeating the experiment and seeing what AI says about El Camino Real.

A cyclist, eager to explore historic El Camino Real, sets out on his bike, feeling adventurous. He pedals along the famed road, taking in the sights, until he sees a sign that reads, “Bike Lane Closed Ahead.” He hops off his bike, looking confused, as there’s no bike lane in sight. He flags down a passing local and asks, “Excuse me, where’s the bike lane? The sign says it’s closed ahead.” The local chuckles and replies, “Oh, that sign’s been there for ages. There’s never been a bike lane here. It’s just El Camino Real’s way of saying, ‘If you’re on a bike, good luck, and if you’re not, well, you’re not missing much!‘”
[ Generative AI’s April Fools Joke about this topic]

Post.Scriptum.

Now, the problem with sign makers and AI is often the input. Basically, you get what you asked for, and you might have to adjust the requirements. So instead of asking to “write a joke” about such and such, I probably should have said “write a funnier joke about …” and so I did.

Certainly! Here’s a funnier take on the joke: A cyclist, eager to explore historic El Camino Real, sets out on his bike, feeling adventurous. He pedals along the famed road, taking in the sights, until he sees a sign that reads, “Bike Lane Closed Ahead.” He looks around in confusion because there isn’t a bike lane in sight. He flags down a passing local and asks, “Excuse me, where’s the bike lane? The sign says it’s closed ahead.” The local chuckles and replies, “Oh, that sign? It’s been there for years. There’s never been a bike lane here. It’s just the road’s way of saying, ‘You’re on your own, buddy. Welcome to the jungle!‘” The cyclist looks befuddled. “But… but what about the sign?” The local grins wider and says, “Well, think of it this way—it’s not a bike lane, it’s just the universe laughing at your optimism!“
[Generative AI telling a funnier joke]

And this time, I actually got something useful out of it: “It’s Not a Bike Lane – It’s Just The Universe Laughing At Your Optimism.” Now that is an outstanding description of these ‘no-bike-lane-bike-boulevards’ and ‘slow-streets’ the city keeps quick-building and quick-taking-down again.

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Editor’s Note: The views and opinions expressed in all blog posts are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the Redwood City Pulse or its staff.