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A new author has emerged from Portola Valley with a memoir titled “My Hummingbird.” In the book, author JJ Carlson dives into her experience facing her mother’s battle with cancer and grieving her death. 

Over the course of a year, Carlson flipped through the pages of her personal journals to recollect her memories of what she experienced during her mother’s cancer diagnosis five years ago, turning her story into a piece about hope, grief and perseverance. 

“I really wanted to share my story so other people can feel comforted,” said Carlson. “This is a hard topic of grief, loss and hope.”

“My Hummingbird,” told through Carlson’s perspective, follows her mother’s struggles with feeling hopeless in her recovery and her progression toward finding “beautiful reasons to live and looking at the small joys in life.” As she nears her death, her mother experiences a “hummingbird moment,” said Carlson, which revisits her during the grieving process. 

As a former track athlete, Carlson said she would exhaust herself by running away from her grief as a way to cope with the loss of her mother. The memoir also incorporates themes of faith, which helped her stay hopeful as she healed from the loss. 

“(Faith) helped me trust that I wasn’t in control, that a higher power of God was with me,” Carlson said. “Even though we don’t understand it at times and it can be confusing, there is a reason for it.”

“My Hummingbird” book signing at the Alpine Hills Tennis & Swimming Club. Courtesy JJ Carlson.

As she read through her journal entries to write her book, Carlson said, “It was really a cut through the heart. I had to regrieve again while writing it.”

It wasn’t until four years after her mother died that Carlson decided she wanted to write her memoir. Writing through tears, it took her a year and a half to finish the book, she said. Carlson adopted a part of a Bible verse, “Hope does not disappoint,” to keep her motivated throughout her writing journey. 

“The beauty of the surrounding area helped me think more,” Carlson added. Living in Portola Valley, she found inspiration from hiking, running and spending time outdoors. 

Carlson, who currently works at the Alpine Hills Tennis & Swimming Club, conducted a book-signing at her workplace and was honored to hear strangers share their own stories about grieving and hope. “I really liked that my book was able to cultivate this vulnerability where we can share and connect on a deeper level,” she said.

“My Hummingbird” published on March 4 and is available online on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Carlson will also be having a book-signing party in Portola Valley on Saturday, April 5 at 4:30 p.m.. For more event details, email thejjcarlson@gmail.com

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Jennifer Yoshikoshi joined The Almanac in 2024 as an education, Woodside and Portola Valley reporter. Jennifer started her journalism career in college radio and podcasting at UC Santa Barbara, where she...

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